Today was my recently turned six year old's birthday party. Being the rambunctious, sports fanatic that he is, he wanted everyone to wear apparel with their favorite sports team. So, this morning, we laid his jersey collection out, he chose his favorite for the day, along with his jeans and then we looked for socks. And this is where it became a bit interesting.... He decided on his kelly green soccer socks. As he chose them, I thought to myself, "No problem. He has long pants on and the long socks would be not only covered, but also potentially great for warmth, if needed. Little did I know that his plans were to wear the socks OVER his jeans. The moment he made me aware of this, I said, "No way! That looks terrible! You will not go out into public looking that way." He quickly fired back, "No it does not look terrible! It's what I like." At this moment, I could only stop myself and say to him, "Okay. If it's what you like, then wear it." I realized I was trying to force on my son the very same ideals for which I often feel so disgusted with society. Many people have told me that they admire me for not being afraid to dance to my own beat and think outside of the box. What type of person (parent) would I be to hold this intelligent, vibrant, little being, whom I created, to a different standard than I hold myself? Why should he conform when he's obviously learned to be a trailblazer and trendsetter so early in life? He's waaaaay ahead of me in this department! As the day went on and I observed how comfortable he was in his outfit, and more importantly in his skin, I felt so proud of him. I felt admiration for him and who he is. If only we allowed our children to be who they are from the beginning, to express themselves without criticism, to remain steadfast in their confidence and not subject them to the boxes which we've decided to put ourselves in, we could produce some of the best human beings in the world.
From my heart to yours: If it's not something that will harm them or others, let them be. Our children have hearts, minds and souls just like us, and we owe it to them to teach them freedom from the chains of society. Let them be free.
Lovingly,
Lola
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