There was a period in my life when I decided to take a break from working because I was tired of showing up for a job that neither inspired nor motivated me. I thought, at the time, that I wanted to start my own legal practice. Looking back, I’m not sure if I really believed I wanted to do this as much as I knew I was done with where I was at the moment. I was exhausted professionally, mentally, emotionally and physically, and just needed out. People always say that “patience is a virtue.” But, until you really realize the meaning of that phrase for YOU and your circumstances, you’re most likely lost, and needing to find your purpose.
I don’t think that we can contribute, or be much of anything, to the world around us when we are not doing what we are meant to do (our purpose), what we love to do (our passion), and what God wants us to do. You see, I wholeheartedly believe that when my “it” is what God wants for me, then it will be what I love! He is my grace, my mercy and my salvation. So, anything He wants for me must be something that I would love. Only He knows the order of my steps in the hours, days, months and years to come. But, I know, through experience, He has ALWAYS wanted, and will ALWAYS want, the best for me.
It’s not always easy though, to relinquish your power to a higher power. If you’re a human like myself (smile), especially one with goals and aspirations, then you have a good idea of what you want and what’s best for you, you’ve already thought about a plan/process to obtain what you want, and you’re ready to follow that plan step by step. But often, there we are, wondering why, after all the careful thought and planning, we haven’t been able to achieve what we wanted. Its a hard pill to swallow, and most learn the not-so-easy way, including myself.
I spent months applying for jobs, only in places where I wanted to live, to finally end up in a place that was NOT on the list. Although it was not on the list, what I would come to find out is that this unplanned physical place would encourage a “life place” of abundant blessings. I’ll even go further to say, a place that is also responsible for my most recent leap of faith. Had I not accepted God’s guidance and blessing of a job in this new place, my mind may never have become open to new possibilities, or my confidence in seeking my purpose flourish.
I’ve always prayed to God for what I wanted, but I had to learn to pray for what He wanted, and most importantly, mean it and accept it. There have been plenty of times that I’ve asked Him to show and bless me with what was best for me (and my son), but inside I was still hoping for what I wanted. It’s not until I was able to absolutely let go of my internal selfishness and open myself to accept what He wanted for me, that doors started to open. And even then, I had to trust the open doors, as well as the closed doors, because it’s often the closed ones that lead to the open.
I remember my sister, who, in my opinion, is much more religiously matured than I am, telling me that she admired my seemingly genuine attitude towards my next step in life and my willingness to accept whatever God had in store for me. It’s almost as if she was shocked that I had decided to want for myself whatever it was that He wanted for me. She was rightful in her thinking, as it is rare, even after most people say that they will leave things in the hands of their higher power, that they actually do so mentally. Well, I did. It wasn’t easy, but through spiritual enlightenment and growth I got there, and with the same I hope to remain.
As with most things that produce good results in life, it can be difficult to remain consistent. However, if you want to see positive change and prosper along this treacherous, but beautiful journey we call LIFE, you’ll have to remain spiritually enlightened and continue to grow in your trust of a higher power. When you want for yourself what your higher power wants for you, then you can only expect to win.
Lesson learned - My path is not always about me, and only me. It won't always start where I want it to, but it will always end where I need it to. Why? Because it's blessed by my Almighty.
From my heart to yours: It's not always about what you want! Accept what God, or your higher power of choice, wants for you. Realize that whatever this is will most likely be your purpose and your meaning, and of course what you love. Do what you love so that you can positively contribute to the world around you. It needs you.
Lovingly,
Lola